A big boo boo...

Cash is crazy. Not mentally or anything. But just a crazy boy who has little to no regard for his body and the injuries he inflicts on himself every day. He is a typical boy who would rather climb things and run full speed ahead than sit down. And I am perfectly fine with that. Of course it makes parenthood a bit harder right now, but I know that my little boy is going to be active. I know that he will not be one of those kids that sits inside all day and plays video games. Don't ask me how I can possibly know that right now, I just do. It is my motherly intuition.

Anyway, while Cash was going at Mach 10 speed this evening he rounded the corner a bit to fast and wasn't watching where he was going and hit head-first into the coffee table. It was loud. It shook the coffee table and maybe even shook me and Noah a bit. He cried. Mommy held him for about 2 minutes and then he was off doing the next rambunctious little boy thing.

Sorry about the picture quality, I tried to get these while he was standing on his rocking horse. But you get the idea. He ended up with a nice sized goose-egg.

E

Daddy and Cash

Fewer things make Cash happier than his mower and food and a good ball to play with. Whenever Noah mows the yard, Cash tries to follow him all over the house and look through every window to watch Noah's every move. It truly is precious. Precious because he yells "mow!" every time he catches a glimpse of the mower. Precious because he looks at his daddy like he is the doing the most amazing thing in the world. I couldn't help but take a pic of Cash idolizing his daddy from afar and desperately trying to get his attention by waving frantically.

If you look closely, you can see Noah in the yard...

I love my family,

E

KayKay comes to visit...

This weekend Kaitlen, Noah's sister and Cash's KayKay, and her friend Megan, came to visit from Houston. We went to the OU football game on Saturday and Cash showed his KayKay how we tailgate in Oklahoma.
He looks really excited to be taking a picture with mommy...

Cash, Megan, and Kaitlen outside the gates of OU stadium...

He wasn't 100% sure about the horse. As a matter of fact he wouldn't take his eyes off the horse...

I mean, what else are you supposed to do at a tailgate but play bean bag toss...

Cash and his good friend Ellie playing...

He should model for Radio Flyer, I'm just saying...

A little timeout for a Capri-sun...

They loved playing in the Radio Flyer

Thank you so much for coming in KayKay and Megan. We love you guys and hope you guys come back soon...

Love,

E

This kid melts my heart...

My son. My sweet, thoughtful, sincere son. He never ceases to amaze me in the things he does and the things he is learning.

Today, with no prompting from me or anyone else, my baby walked out in the backyard and picked me a flower. It was the most beautiful flower I have ever seen, because it came from him.

I don't know if he had any idea what he was doing or if he knew it would make me happy, but I like to think that he did. I like to think that he knew that by giving me that flower, it would make my entire day.

Man, I love my son.

Erin

Kassie's gender reveal party...

Without going into too much detail for the sake of her privacy, one of my very best friends had a gender reveal party for her sweet bun in the oven. Kassie had a harder time conceiving, so her bundle of joy is truly a miracle. Here are some photos from the party...

Cash and his Aunt Kass. Cash Ryan, in my yelling mommy voice, you watch your hand young man...

Everyone waiting patiently for the reveal...

The very happy parents-to-be...

What will it be?? Blue?? Or pink??

Pink it is! A wonderful baby girl!

The "winning group" who chose to wear the correct color...

And the other guys...

I am so happy for my sweet friends and cannot wait to meet her little princess.

Kassie,

I took this picture and thought the quote was only fitting. Congratulations!

Love,

E

Why can't I?

Why is it so hard for me to see the world without the passion and wonder that a small child can see it?

Cash looks at everything as if it were the first time he had ever seen it. Sometimes, that's the case. But sometimes he still marvels at the same thing he has seen 100 times before. I envy that. I wish I still had my child-like wonder that allowed me to pretend the sky in the picture was something so much more than just a sky. That if I concentrated hard enough, I could grow magical wings and fly up to the sky like a bird. For me, I know that is impossible. For Cash, he doesn't know any different. He doesn't know yet that some things are impossible or that some things don't really exist. As his mother, it is my job to teach him some of these things. But I walk a fine line in this circumstance because I want to be realistic with him, but it would kill me if I was the one to dampen his sense of magnificence.

As a mother, we are supposed to let our kids believe that can do anything or be anything they want to be. And I believe in this. I believe in this concept with my whole heart. But I also think there is a lesson to be taught in that regard. Cash can be or do anything he sets his heart and mind to, but it will not just come to him. He will not just be given something because he wants it. He will have to earn it. Work for it. Deserve it.

To teach him this concept without shattering any child-like dreams is a task I am not yet ready to face head on yet. Good thing I don't have to for a while. For now, he can still look up and marvel at the sky. Or be completely captivated by the sound the birds make. Or get bright-eyed and yell any time "butt ball", or football, comes on TV.

I love kids for teaching me to look at things differently and inspire to try to see the world through a child's eyes every now and then.

Love,
E

Here it goes...

Alright, I have debated about whether to write this post or just let it be. I have had some very dear friends of mine ask me about breastfeeding and my thoughts on it. So here it goes...

I did not really enjoy breastfeeding. Whew! There, I said it. And I have struggled with the idea that breastfeeding wasn't something that I looked forward to everyday. I thought that made me a bad mother. That maybe somehow, in some strange way, I wasn't being the best mom to Cash that I was supposed to be. I didn't like how sore I would get. I didn't like feeling like I was a constant feeding machine. I didn't like having to breastfeed and then pump for another 30 minutes just to turn around and breastfeed again in an hour and a half. I felt constrained and confined at times. I am not one of those mothers that can breastfeed in public or in front of people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, that is just not me. So I found it hard to enjoy going places knowing that I would have to go to the bathroom or car or another room to feed my baby.

Cash was a great feeder too. He made it really easy. He latched on right away and had no problems transitioning from breast to breast. My milk came in right on time and at no point was I ever engorged. So, really I had every opportunity to enjoy breastfeeding. It isn't that I didn't enjoy my time with Cash when it was just me and him. I did. Seeing those little eyes look up at me and feeling his tiny fingers brush against my skin in the early morning was truly magical. But that overall breastfeeding process just wasn't my cup of tea.

I have finally come to terms that this doesn't make me a bad mother. Finally. My son is healthy, happy, and still very much so chubby and I wouldn't change that for anything.

Maybe I didn't like breastfeeding because I was only able to strictly breastfeed for 2 weeks before substituting bottles in at every other feeding because I had to be back at school 3 weeks after he was born. Maybe it was because I had to pump in a locked copy room at school over lunch while eating and studying, praying that no one would open the door. Cash still got breastmilk in his bottles, he just wasn't feeding directly from me. And is that really all that terrible. Maybe it was because I saw the joy it brought Noah to finally be able to bond with Cash over a feeding because he was able to give him a bottle.

Whatever the reason, I am just not the breastfeeding type I guess. And that is okay. I will let people say what they say and think what they think. Because at the end of the day, my son is happy. I am happy. Noah is happy. I did what I could in my cirumstances and in my opinion, it worked out just fine. I have had conversations with people that came across and mortified that I didn't enjoy breastfeeding and it really bothered me at the time. But my mama skin is growing ever so thick and I can take whatever people have to say.

So there. That is what I thought about breastfeeding.

Erin

A cluster of a little bit of everything...

Because I fall into the category of "Worlds worst blogger", I am just going to play photo catch-up by posting some random pictures in a random order. Hopefully things will settle down here and I can get back to posting on a regular basis...hopefully...

First football game of the season...

All boy, all the time...

Hanging with his cousins at Grandmas house...

Cash visiting with Mamaw and Papaw during their trip to Oklahoma...

Love,

Erin

Handy Cashy...

Here is the real handy man around my house!

Love,

Erin