A personal post...

I had this post written about 19 months ago. And I never published it. And I was completely ashamed as to my reason for not posting it.

It was an amazingly beautiful day. A day that I will never forget. A day that I want Presley to see later in life. And it almost never happened. And do you know why?

Because of how tired and gross I looked in the picture. That's right. I was thinking about the way I looked and not about the way I felt. How sad is that?

I had just gone through a few hours of some pretty hard labor that started around 4:00 a.m. I had almost missed my window for an epidural and had my face dug into the pillow so that I could block out the intense pain and no one could see my tears. I labored to a 9 with no epidural or pain relief and with the most intense burning in my forearms because I had been gripping the blanket for 2 hours. 

And then the most wonderful baby girl came into the world. And I was so happy. Over the moon kind of happy. 

And when it came time for people to see her, I was concerned with how bad I looked. And told people not to take pictures of me until I could put some make up on. 

Did you hear me? I ALMOST MISSED BEING PHOTOGRAPHED WITH MY DAUGHTER BECAUSE OF HOW BAD I THOUGHT I LOOKED. 

Presley Mae, if you are reading this, I am so sorry that I was unbelievably vain and narcissistic. I am so glad that you can see our first few moments together and share in that joy.

I love you baby girl!