Today is your actual birthday. You should feel a bit like Oprah because we have pretty much been celebrating your birthday since Saturday morning. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Birthday's are meant to be special. And you my sweet boy, are special.
Last night, while you were sleeping, I poked my head into your room and marveled that 1 year ago to the night I was standing in your empty room dreaming of what you would look like. Dreaming of who you would become. Dreaming of holding you. And now... my dreams have come true. I know what it is like to hold you and see you and I am learning daily of the person you are becoming.
This morning I hugged you tighter than most mornings because the realization that you are not my tiny baby anymore is slowly settling in. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks one day and a tiny pebble another. And it's okay. I expected this. I have attempted to prepare myself to come to terms with you getting older and bigger. And I'm dealing.
Last night I actually cried. Not like a sobbing ugly cry. And not because you are 1. I cried because I realized, in a matter of moments, how different my life was before you. How different my heart was before you. And how different my life and heart will forever be because of you.
Last night I cried.
You looked at me and smiled the biggest smile I have seen in 1 year. You ran over to me, wrapped your arms and legs so tightly around me I wasn't sure I could breathe, leaned back and gave me a kiss. And I cried. I cried because of how happy you make me. I cried because my chest swelled up so big with pride because of the sweet little boy you are becoming.
I love that you love me. I love that I am the one you come to when you are in need of some TLC. I love that you are a true meaning to the word boy but can push that aside for one small minute to give me a kiss and let me know I am important.
I just love you. Happy birthday sweet boy.
Mom
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